Thursday, December 29, 2005
{ 5:42 AM }
i'm so angry, i'm practically crying. i dont understand why. life has been full of unexpected events. i dont understand why this happened. roar..I"M SO ANGRY!!! argh..it's just the feeling of sadness and anger mixing up together. it is so unreasonable. *key=it refers to someone* argh..everytime say dont know what,"up to you." i mean..it's not up to m,e right? you said i ate it but i didnt, but you insisted i ate it. rubbish. i eat it, i'll own up. i'll say,"yea..i'm the one who ate it." although i dont tell you beforehand that i'm eating it, but i'll own up if you ask me. you dont know me well..always ask me to return it to it, you know that i dont have it yet what right? but you insist on it dont you? suxer. i've never seen such idiotic, hyprocrite. say something, but dont mean it..what kind of people are you? i was there when you needed help. i didnt run away saying," you go yourself!" instead, i followed along. i helped you. is this the trend? the trend to forget about what good people did to you and demand for some unreasonable rubbish. i tell you, i wont help you in anyway next time. you go and see your whatever, dont come and tell me. i'll not agree to it. heng! i know..you have alot of troubles, but that doesnt mean i dont have understand? the troubles that you have, are all created by yourself. you find for it! you deserve it! blame it on no one. so..now you understand what it feels when people dont answer to your question. besides, i dont answer you because i'm listening to the radio. last time, you were not. if you were, i'ld not do the same. stupid fella. never ever think. argh..shall stop thinking about her. big deal!
heys, you know what? i found out something weird. if the expected failure occur, you would be numbed. even if the news broke to you, you wont feel anything. hahaas. nothing at all(: smile. there's still np tomorrow. dont feel like going because i'm on medication and i'm afraid i would start shivering if i go..because the sight effect is this. haiz..i feel so useless..never felt so bad before. i'll excel. not i wont die. "never say die!" the more you want me to die, the more i'll stand up high. i'll show you that i'm not easily defeated. i'll not lose to you. fate, the more you test me, the more i'll get over the hurddle. i'm gonna strive..never say die.